For those who are following my blog and have read my last post entitled “A Belated Mother’s Day Reflection,” this post is related to it.
I just recently had the chance to experience something quite interesting. My in-laws were here in California for a week and we decided to go to Disneyland while they were here. I have been injured for the last 5 weeks with a rotational injury to my knee so I have not been able to walk very long distances. I didn’t realize I lived such an active life until I was faced with this injury, now everything has become a chore. One doesn’t realize how much walking is required to do menial tasks like go to the grocery store and walk the aisles.
This said, I knew that in order to go a day at Disneyland, I would have to use a wheelchair. The upside to using a wheelchair as you may know, is at Disneyland you and 5-6 people in your party can skip just about every line. What I was not expecting however, was the way I would be treated as I walked through the park. I found that many people desired to be helpful and this was great, however I also realized that because of how busy Disneyland is, many people do not even realize those people who are in wheelchairs. It will forever be burned into my brain to stop for people in wheelchairs when I am at Disneyland (and everywhere else). I may be in a hurry, but no one is in too big of a hurry to stop and let people in wheelchairs go in front of them.
People’s inability to let me through was not the only thing I noticed while at Disneyland, I thought it was interesting how other people in the park would talk to my family but act as if I wasn’t there or I was unable to communicate. I even found that some of the employees at Disneyland would forget to address me. Instead of asking me how many people were in my party, a number of times they looked directly over me and asked my wife how many were in our party. I thought this was strange until I remembered having a conversation about this very thing with my mom and the experiences she has had. This opened my eyes in a way I was not expecting. My experience at Disneyland taught me a few key things:
- First, in my book, Anyone that is able to overcome a handicap and still live their life, is a hero
- Second, we need to remember to help people who are disabled and acknowledge their humanity
Finally, the third thing I learned through this experience was how important it is to put ourselves in the shoes of others through intentional means to gain understanding of what they are going through. I have walked away from my experience with a deeper appreciation for what my mom goes through on a daily basis and also what other people who must live with or overcome disabilities go through.
I desire to be a person who sees the people around me and does not walk by another human being without acknowledging their humanity. If you have ever tried to do this you will know how difficult this is to accomplish in our busy society. I fail to do this constantly. Who is it in your life that you need to take the time to understand better? What can you try to do in order to understand this person/people group better? As you engage these individuals, please post your comments on my blog.
This is a very touching blog. Thanks for sharing. I am actually reading a book on compassion right now by Mother Theresa and this is something that we definitely need to be aware of people who are not in our vantage point. However, How do we deal with people that cannot talk being in wheel chairs? I have found family so offended that we would address the person who cannot talk? I don’t know if this is because they don’t like such facts being exposed or because they feel made fun of or patronized. Either way I think that we can acknowledge the person but is talking necesssary if the person cannot respond? Any thoughts?
Jeremy,
thank you for your response to my post. You presented some great insight. As far as communicating with others who are unable to talk I do agree with you that we are able to acknowledge others without speaking to them. Whether it is speaking or smiling or doing anything, what I hoped to communicate in my post is that we need to acknowledge other human beings through whatever means we have been given. In response to your comment about offending others, would you venture to go as far as to say that at Disneyland, protocol is not to talk to people in wheelchairs because there is a possibility of offending them? My experience with this topic is that not only was it employees who would not address me but it was other people in the park as well. I am wondering if this is a subconscious response human beings have. Due to the fact that I have very little experience outside of working with a few elderly disabled people and my mom, I am interested to hear your experience with your family members who are unable to speak. Could you teach me about them through your experience?
Hey Steven,
This was a great ordeal you went through. I’m glad you took so much away from it.
In my own life, I just broke off an engagement with my fiancee of two years. As I reflect on who I was in the relationship, I realize that there were a lot of times that I could have taken, just to understand her better. We had very different life experiences that made us who we are and instead of taking the time to share new experiences with her wherever she was, sometimes I would judge her for not being where I was. Not fair. This realization led me to another and that’s that the judgement I express towards others really begins with myself. Often times I am not patient enough or nice enough or even understanding enough with myself. I find myself constantly pushing, judging and pushing some more towards more money and ultimately a better life.
What your story and my past relationship are demonstrating to me is to treat myself better. To allow myself to just be. To acknowledge my own presence and accept where I am in life. To slow down and take time to understand ME better. As I start showing myself more courtesy, I’m sure it will become more apparent in how I treat others.
Thanks for encouraging me to share….
Anwar
Wow Anwar. Thank you so much for taking the time to express this on my blog. I am sorry to hear about your engagement fall out. That has to be a very difficult event to go through. I find that it is often difficult for me to remember that everyone is in their own process of growth especially when it comes to significant others and those we are closest to. I also identify with your realization that the right perspective often starts with how we treat ourselves. In this difficult time as you are coming to these realizations, continue to reflect and continue to look towards God. I do not want to sound cliche with the advice I am giving you but I cannot stress enough how important seeing ourselves through God’s eyes is. Embrace God, embrace weakness, and being broken because only through you being weak and broken will you realize how strong God is.
Thanks Steven….very encouraging and super on-point.
Hey Stephen,
Great story and great write up.
The tragedy of our day is that, in the process of helping, we often times can’t help but see another stat. Make sense? Meaning to say, in the midst of wanting to help people, we fail to see…well…people. With all the greatest intentions in the world, because of how society has had a hand in molding our mentality, we, too often, see those in need as another check mark in our efforts to serve those around us.
Now, on the surface, we don’t obviously feel this way, but, again, it’s the tragic direction we’ve ventured towards because of the 21st century fall-of-man dilemma.
But that’s the beauty that is God.
God is always in the business of redeeming humanity. Since Adam and Eve, God has always found ways to show His redemptive love. More importantly, He’s always challenged us to take that love and actually move with it.
It’s observations like the one you made at Disneyland that reminds us of how far we’ve deviated from God, yet encourages us to reground ourselves in His mission.
Thanks for your honesty and your heart to serve!!!